People Can Change

Why do so many people act like they can’t?

Rachel D Adams
4 min readOct 24, 2022


Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

It has been my experience that, as human beings, we are flawed. We learn from our parents, family, culture, and society around us. Learning new ideas outside these things makes us realize that other people do things differently. We have to step outside of our box of experience to realize that other people from other places might view what we’re doing as wrong.

We may be ignorant until someone calls us on our negative behavior or cycles. Making changes to our habitual behavior can be difficult. Sometimes, making changes can cause us to be separated from the people and culture we’ve known all of our lives. It means possibly losing the support of others. In other cases, it means realizing how wrong we are. It can be an awakening that shatters our sense of self and sees our teachers topple from pedestals.

My husband and I could pop into all kinds of groups in high school. We made friends with all social classes and races. We both agree that our families and a lot of our local culture had hidden racism. Also, anyone from the LGBT community was considered a sinner; at most, you were not encouraged to be around that group.

Then we hit college, and the internet happened. We stepped out of our rural upbringing. Through all of these experiences, we left behind the racism and fear of our raising. We changed and decided to stop that old cycle by raising our kids to know better. It took us longer actually to become outspoken allies, but people gave us the time and grace to get it right.

Change can be a slow and steady process, or it can be a violent and startling event.

It’s not the same for everyone. And for change to occur, the person needs to want to make one of these transitions. They have to admit they were wrong and actually be sincere. They must shift not only their way of thinking but how they handle their relationships and way of life from that moment on.

Not all people change, but let’s be clear — most of us do. We know how to adapt and evolve to whatever comes our way. I feel that the amount of grace we allow people for change has diminished.

For example, what I’ve seen online and in social media forums, in particular, is disheartening. People put…



Rachel D Adams

(she/her/pan) I’m not a well-behaved woman. I am an ally, amateur photog, content creator, novelist, empty nester, traveler, wife, & friend.